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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227543">Dear Parsley</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat/pseuds/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat'>Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Smile For Me (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Growing Up, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Song Fic Kinda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:48:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat/pseuds/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Parsley is perfect, Jimothan thinks. Jimothan isn't perfect, and it seems that no one thinks it either. Not his (ex) wife, not any of his friends, and especially not by Parsley. He doesn't even think it. But he's trying. And it might take thirty-five years, but Parsley will realize that eventually.</p>
<p>Heavily inspired by "Dear Winter" by AJR</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jimothan Botch &amp; Parsley Botch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dear Parsley</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the closest I've ever come to a song fic! Parsley and Jimothan mean a whole lot to me, and I wanted to write something really good for the two of them. I discovered "Dear Winter" randomly recently, and I realized that Parsley's name is weird too, and you could easily replace it in the song. So... this was born! It means a lot to me, and I hope it can mean a lot to some of you too. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He’s perfect,” Jimothan whispered. His wife smiled gently and reached out to put a hand on his arm. Their little newborn was still crying, but Jimothan was rocking him gently and shushing him quietly when he wasn’t talking. “I can’t believe we made something so perfect…”</p>
<p>“He is perfect,” his wife whispered. Jimothan leaned down to kiss her forehead, and handed their baby off to her. “Didn’t you have a name in mind?”</p>
<p>“It’s silly…” Jimothan mumbled.</p>
<p>“C’mon,” his wife said, “it can’t be worse than mine.”</p>
<p>“Mhavyrich was pretty bad,” Jimothan said, chuckling.</p>
<p>“It’s pronounced normal!” His wife said.</p>
<p>Jimothan could tell how tired she was, so he decided not to drag out the conversation anymore. “I was thinking Parsley,” he said. “It’s… it’s silly, but it’s unique, and we both wanted that, and-”</p>
<p>“It’s perfect,” his wife said. She gave him the biggest smile he’d seen from her in a while. “Little Parsley…” She gently kissed their baby’s forehead, before handing him off to Jimothan again. “I’m going to take the longest nap in history,” she said jokingly. “Make sure the doctors make sure he’s okay.”</p>
<p>Jimothan nodded. He bounced his new baby and shushed him gently. Slowly, he calmed down. He pressed himself to Jimothan tightly, and Jimothan couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He cried quietly as he held his son.</p>
<p>And so, Parsley Botch was brought into the world.</p><hr/>
<p>Parsley was seven when he first came home crying.</p>
<p>He ran straight into Jimothan’s arms and sobbed against his knees. Jimothan knelt down so he could hug Parsley easier and rubbed his back gently. “What’s wrong, sprig?” He asked quietly. “I thought you were playing with Connor and Kyle across the street.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to play with them anymore!” Parsley wailed. He continued to cry into Jimothan’s shoulder, and Jimothan shushed him quietly.</p>
<p>“What happened?” He asked.</p>
<p>“They made fun of me,” Parsley choked out between sobs. “They said my name was dumb, and… and that I was stupid and that I’m weak…”</p>
<p>Jimothan frowned and hugged Parsley tighter. “Your name isn’t dumb, Parsley,” he said. “Your name is amazing. You should wear it with pride, because it makes you special.” He gently squeezed Parsley when he sobbed again. “You’re not stupid, you’re one of the smartest kids around. You get all As on your report card, you always know where to find the best bugs, and you can tell exactly what mom and I are feeling. That sounds pretty smart to me.”</p>
<p>“Okay…” Parsley whispered. “Thanks, Dad.”</p>
<p>“Of course, kiddo.” Jimothan was glad he didn’t ask about being weak. He hated to admit it, but Parsley was definitely… sensitive. This whole little episode was proof of that. “I love you,” he said instead.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Parsley whispered. “Will you play with me instead?” </p>
<p>“For sure, sprig!” </p>
<p>Jimothan and Parsley played for the rest of the day, until Parsley’s mom came home at least. They both grinned at her, and she grinned back. They both noticed how it’s strained, but neither of them said anything.</p><hr/>
<p>Jimothan is proud of Parsley when he’s ten.</p>
<p>He was a little early to be talking to girls, but the men in Jimothan’s family have always been ladies men, and it looked like Parsley was going to be the same. He talked to girls like it was the easiest thing in the world. Jimothan watched at neighborhood gatherings and PTA meetings that his wife dragged them both to, and he grinned as Parsley laughed and hugged the girls his age. </p>
<p>He talked to boys well too. Not as well, but well. He laughed with them and gave them high fives, but he never hugged them. Jimothan didn’t see anything wrong with it. He didn’t hug his friends, even at that age. He didn’t think too much about how Parsley would occasionally stammer or blush around certain boys, and he didn’t think too much about the fact that Parsley wanted to watch movies with more actors than actresses.</p>
<p>He did think to ask Parsley about one girl that he spent a lot of time with.</p>
<p>“Is that Janice girl your girlfriend?” He’d asked teasingly after a PTA meeting they got dragged to. He ignored how his wife rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>Parsley stared at him for a moment, before he shrugged. “I don’t think so,” he said. “She hasn’t called me her boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to be her boyfriend?” Jimothan asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Parsley said. “She’s nice.”</p>
<p>“There you go then!” Jimothan said. “Let your old man know if you need any advice asking her out.”</p>
<p>“Jimothan, please,” his wife said, clearly annoyed. </p>
<p>“I will,” Parsley said.</p>
<p>He never asked, and Jimothan didn’t see him talking to Janice ever again.</p><hr/>
<p>Parsley was thirteen when Jimothan and his wife got divorced.</p>
<p>It had been a long time coming. They’d been at a stand still for a while. There was never any yelling, which surprised Jimothan. Both he and his wife were passionate people, but it seemed they were both passive aggressive when it came to this. She finally asked for a divorce. Jimothan wished she hadn’t done it at the dinner table over a small argument, because he could see the light in Parsley’s eyes die.</p>
<p>His relationship with Parsley was never the same.</p>
<p>Parsley locked himself in his room a lot. He cried a lot. He stayed out later and later, and Jimothan didn’t know how to handle it all. If his wife had been there, she would have helped him. She was always better about Parsley’s emotions. But she wasn’t there, not anymore. </p>
<p>When Jimothan brought up girls again over dinner, Parsley exploded.</p>
<p>“You don’t understand, Dad!” He’d screamed. “You don’t get me! You don’t care that I cry, and you don’t care that I’m upset! You don’t care about me, and you don’t care about Mom! All you care about is me finding a girlfriend and being on the football team! I don’t want either of those things!”</p>
<p>“So you’re a late bloomer! That’s okay, sprig!” Jimothan said, trying to deflect Parsley’s anger. “You could play baseball too, if you want! Doesn’t have to be football.”</p>
<p>“Shut up!” Parsley screamed. “I hate you!”</p>
<p>He stormed off to his room, and slammed the door behind him. Jimothan didn’t know what he’d done wrong, at least at the time. He did know that he felt like he’d been stabbed in the heart. He quietly cleaned up dinner, and went upstairs. He heard Parsley sobbing loudly in his room. Jimothan went to knock on his door, but stopped short. He stood with his fist ready to knock, but didn’t. After a while, he simply turned and went to bed. He could faintly hear Parsley crying, even from his room.</p>
<p>He closed his door, and that drowned it out.</p><hr/>
<p>Parsley looked on the verge of tears while he held his head in his hands. </p>
<p>Jimothan peeked into Parsley’s room. The poor kid had been working himself ragged for weeks over some big test. He’d told Jimothan to leave him alone to study, that this test could determine if he could get into law school or not. He was only sixteen, and Jimothan could already tell that he was going to be like his mom. Working his whole life away, not making any time for fun.</p>
<p>“You doing okay, sprig?” Jimothan asked as he stepped into the room. </p>
<p>Parsley sighed and turned to face him. “Dad, I told you, I gotta study for this test. It’s really big, and-”</p>
<p>“Fuck the test,” Jimothan said before he could really think about what he was saying. </p>
<p>Parsley didn’t look angry though. He just sighed and nodded. “I feel the same at this point,” he said.</p>
<p>“Then say it,” Jimothan replied. Parsley looked at him like he had two heads. “C’mon, you can say it. You won’t get in trouble, I won’t tell your mom.”</p>
<p>Parsley shook his head, but there was a small smile on his face. “Fuck the test,” he mumbled.</p>
<p>“C’mon, you can say it louder than that!” Jimothan said.</p>
<p>Parsley laughed. “Fuck the test,” He said.</p>
<p>“Use your chest voice!” Jimothan said. He was laughing too.</p>
<p>“Fuck the test!” Parsley yelled. They both broke down into laughter for a while. When they had calmed down a little, Jimothan lightly punched Parsley in the arm. Parsley still rubbed it like it hurt, and shook his head again as he let out a last few giggles. “Okay, I really do need to study,” he said. “Thanks, though, Dad. I feel a little better.”</p>
<p>“Anything to help you out, sprig,” Jimothan said.</p>
<p>“I love you,” Parsley mumbled as Jimothan turned to leave.</p>
<p>“I know,” Jimothan replied, and gave Parsley a warm smile.</p>
<p>He missed how Parsley’s expression changed from a small smile to a sad frown.</p><hr/>
<p>“Chicago, huh?” Jimothan asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Parsley said excitedly. “I got the acceptance letter last week, and I sent them a confirmation today! I’m really excited, I think it’s gonna be a big opportunity for me!”</p>
<p>Jimothan tried to smile. “That’s great, sprig!” He said. “I just… uh… I didn’t realize you were applying for anywhere so far away.”</p>
<p>Parsley shrugged, and his excited smile dropped. “There’s not a lot of great law school options nearby, is all,” he said. “Plus I kinda… I kinda wanted to get away from home for a while.”</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with home?” Jimothan asked. He tried to ignore the twisting feeling in his gut.</p>
<p>“I dunno,” Parsley mumbled. “I just… lots of guys from high school I wanna get away from.” He shrugged again. “Wanna go to a big city for a while, that sort of thing.”</p>
<p>“It’s not cuz of me or your mom, is it?” Jimothan asked.</p>
<p>Parsley bit his lip. “I need to go pack,” he mumbled. </p>
<p>Jimothan nodded. “Okay,” he whispered. “Let me know if you need any help.” Parsley nodded and walked past him to go up the stairs. Jimothan sat at the table and tried not to cry.</p><hr/>
<p>“Hey sprig!” Jimothan said into the receiver. “How’s college?”</p>
<p>“No different than when you called me two days ago,” Parsley’s voice said through the phone. He sounded irritated. “I gotta go to the library in a couple minutes to study, so this had better be fast.”</p>
<p>“It will be!” Jimothan assured him. “I just wanted to ask how your day was going.”</p>
<p>Parsley sighed. “Dad,” he said, “I’ve gotta pay for these long distance calls. And you keep calling before we schedule, and I can’t always answer.” Jimothan didn’t comment that Parsley always picked up. “You’re just… you’re kind of hovering, y’know? I’m not a little kid anymore, Dad. I’m nineteen and I’ve got lots of classes I have to get through and tests to study for, and other things. I appreciate it, Dad, I really do, but can you please just call when we have one scheduled?”</p>
<p>“Yeah…” Jimothan whispered. “Sorry, sprig. I just… I miss you.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Parsley said. Jimothan felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “You’ll see me for spring break soon, okay?” </p>
<p>“Okay,” Jimothan said. “I’ll uh… I’ll hang up now, yeah?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Parsley said. “See ya, Dad.”</p>
<p>“See ya, sprig,” Jimothan replied. He hung up and set the receiver down. He sighed heavily and glanced around the empty house. He really needed to get a dog or something.</p>
<p>Not that it’d ever replace what he’d lost.</p><hr/>
<p>“You’re sure your mom’s okay with it?” Jimothan asked.</p>
<p>“Positive,” Parsley replied. “I already asked three times. She says we’re both fully grown men, and that we can make our own stupid decisions.”</p>
<p>“Welcome to the backhanded compliment club, sprig,” Jimothan said.</p>
<p>Parsley chuckled. “Yeah… feels great,” he said quietly. “Well… first legal shot!”</p>
<p>“Amen, brother!” Jimothan said. He would’ve tapped his glass with Parsley’s, but it’s hard with shot glasses.</p>
<p>They both shot back the drinks, and Parsley came back up coughing. Jimothan laughed and waited for him to stop. “Man… I’m not used to that.”</p>
<p>“Fruiter drinks are more your thing?” Jimothan asked. Parsley nodded. “Yeah… same for your mom.” They sat quietly for a moment. “How is she, by the way?”</p>
<p>“She’s…” Parsley sighed. “Working. She’s working. Same as she always is.” He shrugged. “She comes out of her study and spends time with me when she can, but… I mean, you’d think with me only being here for a week she’d be more inclined to spend time with me!”</p>
<p>He’s clearly frustrated, but Jimothan didn’t know what to say. “‘Inclined’?” He said. “You’re already talking fancy like a lawyer!”</p>
<p>Parsley stared at him for a moment, before reaching for the whiskey again. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “I guess I am.”</p><hr/>
<p>Jimothan doesn’t hear from Parsley for almost ten years. </p>
<p>He’s living in Chicago for a lot of that time. He never gave Jimothan a phone number, and he doesn’t seem to check his private email very often. Jimothan could have a grandchild for all he knows. He tries not to let it bother him. He goes out, he gets drunk, he does things he regrets, he comes home. It goes on like this for a while, a long while, until he finds the website with the weirdly spelled words and bad grammar that’s asking for a bartender. The pay is nice, great actually. So, he applies, and he gets the job.</p>
<p>The Habitat is weird. His boss is weird, and it seems that both of them are only getting weirder as time goes on. The weirdest part is that Parley is there. Jimothan hears through the grapevine that Parsley’s living with his mom again, when he’s not staying in a hotel at least. He doesn’t hear about how an attorney doesn’t have a house. He thought lawyers made a lot of money, but he might be wrong.</p>
<p>He gives Parsley the drinks he wants when he comes to the longue. He feels bad about it later. He shouldn’t be letting his son drink this much. He shouldn’t be getting his son down this path. Although, from the way Parsley talks sometimes, it sounds like he’s been on this path for a while. It makes Jimothan’s heart hurt, but he doesn’t say anything.</p>
<p>He doesn’t fucking say anything.</p>
<p>He vows to say something next time. But he doesn’t get the chance before the gas sweeps through the Habitat, and everyone leaves. Parsley’s already got a ride by the time he gets out. He watches as the artist kid and his son drive off. He doesn’t know what to do.</p>
<p>He hasn’t seen his ex-wife in eighteen years. Well, they live in the same town, so they’ve seen each other, but they haven’t talked. She seems pretty alarmed when he shows up on her porch, but she also seems to know why he’s there. Parsley isn’t there, he’s still at work, but he’s dropping by that night. Jimothan offers to come back later, but his ex-wife says that it won’t be long, and he can come inside.</p>
<p>They talk. It’s almost nice. It might be nice. Jimothan still can’t quite tell. She’s not passive aggressive, and neither is he. They’re different people now. They aren’t about to come back together, but they can talk. They talk about work mostly. She hasn’t changed in that regard. But it just makes Jimothan chuckle a little instead of making him angry. She has some funny stories about her coworker.</p>
<p>It isn’t long before the front door opens. “Mom, I’m here!” Parsley calls into the house. He steps inside and sees the two of them sitting in the living room. He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t move. He just stands in the doorway.</p>
<p>“I’ll leave you two to it,” Jimothan’s ex-wife says, and he’s grateful for her doing that. She steps into the kitchen, and she winks at Jimothan on her way out. He gives her a nervous smile.</p>
<p>“Hey, Dad,” Parsley says as he steps into the living room. He carefully sits on the couch next to Jimothan, and sets his briefcase down. “What’re you doing here?”</p>
<p>“I wanted to see you,” Jimothan says. Parsley nods. “Sprig… I don't know how to say this…”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to,” Parsley says.</p>
<p>“Yes I do,” Jimothan replies, “because I’ve gone too damn long not saying things.” </p>
<p>He takes a deep breath and looks up at Parsley’s face. He looks so different, so, so different. He’s an adult, he’s all grown up, he’s not Jimothan’s little boy anymore. He’s his own person, with his own problems, and his own circle of people to love. Jimothan misses being in that circle.</p>
<p>“I did so much wrong while I was raising you,” Jimothan says. “I know I can’t take any of it back. I don’t even know if I want to. It made you who you are now, and so far I’ve really liked this Parsley.” Parsley is just staring at him as he talks. “I know I wasn’t there enough, but was too much at the same time. I know there’s so much I didn’t tell you that you needed to hear. I know you think I’m not a good dad, and I know you don’t have to forgive me, but…” He chokes on a sob, and is quiet for a moment. Parsley isn’t piping up, so he keeps going when he can.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Parsley,” he says quietly, “and… and I’m so proud of you. You are everything I could’ve ever hoped you’d be. You are so much better than me, or anyone I’ve ever known. You’ve done so much and gone so far, and I wish I could’ve been there to go with you. I’d like to be there in the future.” He sobs again, and realizes that Parsley has become blurry. “I love you, Parsley. I’ve always loved you. And I’m sorry I didn’t say it, and I’m sorry I didn’t show it. But I do, I love you so much. And I’ve missed you even more.”</p>
<p>Parsley sits on the couch for a long while, and Jimothan can’t see him through his tears. He can tell Parsley isn’t crying because there’s none of his loud sobs or little whimpers. After a moment, Parsley gets up and walks into the kitchen. Jimothan sits on the couch and sobs. He tries to pull himself together enough to get up and leave, but Parsley is back before he can do that.</p>
<p>“Figured you’d need some water after crying like that,” he says, and Jimothan realizes that his voice is wavering. He’s crying, it’s just that that’s changed too. Parsley takes a deep breath, and shifts slightly so he’s leaning against Jimothan.</p>
<p>“I missed you too,” he says quietly as Jimothan puts an arm around him. “I missed you every day. I went through so much while we were apart, so much I wanted to tell you about, so much I wanted a warm dad hug to comfort me from.” He begins to shake, and Jimothan looks down to see him sobbing quietly. “I got married. And divorced. I wish you were there to walk me down the aisle. I wish you could’ve met Martin.” Jimothan isn’t surprised, considering his ex-wife mentioned this before. She hadn’t meant to out Parsley, she thought Jimothan knew. Apparently, it was obvious. “I wish you could’ve held me when I cried, and I wish you could’ve held me when I was anxious. I wish you had when you could’ve. I wish for so many things to be different between us.”</p>
<p>He takes a deep breath as the sobs get louder and more violent. “But I love you. I’ve always loved you. You mean the world and more to me, Dad. I looked up to you, I still do. And… and I missed you. And I’m repeating myself.” They both laughed through their tears. “I don’t want to miss you anymore.”</p>
<p>“I don't want to miss you either,” Jimothan says. “And… and if neither of us want that, we don’t have to miss each other.”</p>
<p>“We don’t,” Parsley says.</p>
<p>“I love you, sprig.”</p>
<p>“I love you too, Dad.”</p>
<p>Jimothan sits on his ex-wife’s couch and holds his son as they both cry. It’s surreal. Jimothan hasn’t had anyone to hold for so long, and it seems Parsley hasn’t had anyone to hold him in a while either. Jimothan wants to kiss the top of his head, something he should’ve done more often before. But it doesn’t seem right. Not because it isn’t manly, but because they aren’t there yet. Jimothan knows that the two of them have a long way to go. But they’re holding each other, and they’re crying, and they’re whispering that they love each other every now and then, and that’s enough for now.</p><hr/>
<p>“I’m going to be the best dad I can be, sprig,” Jimothan had whispered to the little baby that he held thirty-five years ago. “You’ll see. You’re going to be the happiest little boy in the world. I’ve always got you. I’ll always love you.” And the little baby had kept sleeping, and Jimothan had kept crying, and he knew he’d never go back on his word.</p>
<p>Jimothan loved his son. He loves his son. He will <i>always<i> love Parsley.</i></i></p>
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